I do believe it is time for an update:
Marriage is hard- extended family is hard- military life is hard- raising your children is hard. That being said it is crazy how strong people can be. I have been out of the military for going on 9 months- and I still miss it. I miss it so much so I never realized how hard it was affecting me. I have told so many- that if you are in the military and you struggle with fitness- try your hardest to keep in shape- and when you think you are trying your hardest try harder. I can not believe I still dwell on the past- I believe I am not the only person that does this. The past few weeks have been eye opening. My family and I are preparing for our first PCS (moving to another base)- we have had financial struggles- and right now we are living in an apartment so tiny that our almost 2 year old has had enough! Through everything john and I have been through- we have always come out the other end twice as strong.
Today I woke up with a whole new mindset. The past is the past and I can not change it. However, I can mold my future. Yes I got put out of the military for fitness- but being put out of the military has made me have to face myself and the change I have yet to make. We all struggle with some form of depression- some more severe than others. There are a lot of us that are in denial. I admit- I have been depressed over how my life was turning out. I know that this road to a new me- and this road that my family is going to need to help me with will not be easy- but I think after all the "talk" about changing it is about time I do something about it.
So here is day zero- today I will be me- I will be happy- I will enjoy the scary thoughts of our future.
My husband and I have some choices to make about our family and questions to answer. Do we put Easten back in base daycare, do we let him go to a home daycare. What will I go to school for? Will I put my GI Bill to good use? Will I work AND go to school? will my husbands new job be more demanding? Will be closer to family be a good thing or bad? Will I continue to get along with my husbands side of the family?
Today is my NEW day zero- today I will be me- today I will be happy- TODAY I will enjoy the scary thoughts of our future. WASHINGTON DC HERE WE COME!!!!!!
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