Their Reality vs My Reality___perfection isnt everything

I have come to the conclusion that I am amazing at making plans and SAYING I am going to lose wieght and be better with anything and everything.

What people say my reality should be:
A happy 2 yr old- no health issues at all- not even a cold
A smart 2 yr old- I should be teaching him multiplication by now
I shoul have a spotless house- I should be able to lick the floor
The car and truck- should look brand new
I should be 125 lbs
I should be motivated
I should have a job on top of school and having a little one and husband.
I shouldnt mention I was in the military- cause lets face it- I dont look I have served a day in my life.
Looks are everything- dont EVER leave the house is an oversized sweater and sweatpants
4.0 gpa- nothing less

My reality is:
I cant find motivation. I know what I need to do- just cant get myself there. I hear from others "it's easy" "you just do it"... Sounds simple right? It isn't always that easy. I know I have a lot to live for- losing wieght can help prolong the length of time I am here on this earth- However- making me feel horrible because I obviously "don't want to be able to keep up with my child"- that solves nothing. BTW I still wiegh over 200lbs... but I did lose 5lbs in the past few months- a small difference is better than nothing.

My reality is:
I have piles of dirty clothes- that when they get cleaned- never end up getting put away. I have dirty dishes sitting in my sink. No excuse for my house not being spotless- I get it- I can be a sucky housewife... But the couch and food and soda and movies sound better than standing on my feet and walking up and down the stairs. Sounds pathetic right? I agree. I am trying to slowly get rid of this fastfood and soda craving I have ALL THE TIME.

My reality is:
My son has asthma, he attends daycare, he is a brilliant angel- with a temper to go with being 2 yrs old. I am sorry if he screams in the store- stare harder- see if I care. I have seen that little boy bring out the best in people- so how you feel about him right now is pointless- he is amazing.

My reality is:
i dont have a 4.0 gpa- I have a 3.6 gpa- I am on the honor roll. I am proud of myself- so kiss my butt

My reality is:
I may not LOOK like I was ever in the military- but talk to me. I am proud to have served and will NEVER keep that in. The chance to wear the unifom for 4 years- priceless.


I am trying to remmber that even though others have this "reality" for me- it doesn't mean I HAVE to be apart of it. I love my husband, I love my son- and I am struggling with the drive and motivation to GET MOVING. I have a bad temper(just ask the hubs! haha) I am a full time student- and I am getting better grades than I thought I could.

Somedays- like today- I find it hard to get out of the house and DO something. But I have a friends dog to take for  a walk- which means I will be taking a walk and helping a friend. It is a plus for me, my friend, and her dog. It isnt much but it is something. So I am making to elaborate PLAN to be a better me. I am taking it one day at a time. I may not clean today- but today I got out of the house. Tomorrow- I might struggle to just get off the couch- But I will take on that fight tomorrow.

I feel the need to send a shout out to the most amazing hsuband ever. He puts up with my temper and criticism... He loves me- even though I am a chunky gal. He is an incredible dad. He is my rock <3

I am working on today- tomorrow can wait!